I’ve been thinking quite a bit about relationships lately because it seems that most of my friends are in a serious dating relationship, engaged or married. I look at all my friends in their various situations and feel differently about each one. Some, I’m ecstatic for! I know they’re happy and I’m happy for them. Others, I feel a little less enthusiastic because I fear that something other than love has driven them to where they are now.
I have friends going through all sorts of situations. Some just married, some engaged, some married for a few years and finding out that marriage maybe isn’t so easy. One engaged couple I know is learning how to deal with grief, both individually and together. Another just got home from their honeymoon. Yet another is expecting their first baby. Being in a relationship has so many joys and challenges.
I have other friends, though, who aren’t doing so great in the relationship game, if you can call it that. Some of my girl friends have simply given up hope of ever finding “Mr. Right.” They feel so broken, used up and worthless that they’ve either settled for second best or settled in to be single forever. There are days I fall into the second group.
I watch my friends and feel so sad for them. I know there’s a guy out there who will treat them right. Who’ll love them for who they are and treat them like princesses. We all just need to wait for them.
My question to men is this: How can anyone treat a woman so poorly that they feel trapped? Does it really make the guy feel that good about himself?
And women, my question to you is this: Why do we choose to settle? Why can’t we believe that we have value beyond what a man brings to us? Can’t we find that we, ourselves, are precious people?
MEN: If you treat us like treasures, we’ll be all you can dream of. We are human beings with feelings, not objects to be shown off. We aren’t there to look pretty on your arm. We’re looking for someone who will love us forever. Remember, we won’t always be young and pretty. Looks shouldn’t be important because, last I checked, we all get old. If it’s all about looks, you’ll be greatly disappointed in ten years.
WOMEN: Men do not complete us. We are individuals. Being single does not make us defective. It’s ok to wait until a guy who will genuinely respect us comes along. God has someone special planned for all of us. The man God has chosen will love us, treat us like precious gems, put our feelings above his own. We just have to remember to do the same in return.
EVERYONE: If you want a relationship to work, from dating to marriage, the most important thing is to focus all on God. Anything that centers around God will be strong. Anything that centers around self will crumble like sand. Which would you rather your relationships be? If you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend right this second, maybe it’s because God has other plans for you right now. Before you can expect to be strong in a marriage, you have to grow up a little. You have to be able to put others first, admit when you’re wrong, work hard, be willing to lose a little sleep now and then. Marriage isn’t all fun and games. It’s a life-long commitment. And it’s almost never easy! Also, never, ever marry someone because you feel that you aren’t good enough to get everything you dreamed of! If you take your time and trust God, He’ll give you someone who is perfect for you. You never have to settle with God on your side. You are God’s precious creation. He will never give you anything that is not the best for you. Sometimes it’s hard to trust in His plan because He doesn’t work on our schedules. We just have to learn to wait. If you want to have a perfect “happily ever after” you have to learn to be satisfied with who you are and where you are now. Work on your relationship with God and everything else will fall into place.